Real Talk: We All Want Our Kids to Have a “Good” Day, but How do We Make it Happen?
I don’t love to label days as good or bad, or positive or negative, but how often do you tell your child to “have a good day at school”? What does a good day even mean or look like? We of course don’t want them to have a bad day at school. First, explore what having a “good” day looks like for your family/ your child. Maybe this means staying on “green” on the behavior chart all day. Maybe it means your child makes it through the day without a call from the nurses office to go home. Maybe it’s your child learning something new.
Fostering A “Good” Day
Create a daily mantra: “I can do hard things.” “I choose kindness.” “I can handle this.” Create a daily or weekly manta for your child that is personalized. Choose something that is meaningful for the child. If they struggle going to school maybe the mantra is “I can do hard things.” If they struggle with getting along with others maybe “I choose kindness” is more helpful. Maybe this mantra changes every week or every month, or maybe this is a phrase that can stick with the child all year.
Rose and Root: Have each person in the family share a Rose and Root when they get home from school. Rose is something wonderful and exciting that happened in the day and Root is something that may have been more challenging that you can grow from. Make this even more fun and add a ladybug. Lady bug is something that will make tomorrow a lucky day. This helps everyone plan for the next day. Example: “My lady bug is that I will study hard tonight so that I can be more prepared for my test tomorrow.” By also sharing your rose and root you model problem solving and cognitive reframing. You can make this creative by purchasing a fake rose from a craft store that you pass around as you share OR have everyone draw a rose, write their rose and roots, then share their pictures.
GLAD: Help your child focus on gratitude by sharing what makes them GLAD. Do this before bedtime as it can be the last thing they think about before going to sleep. You can also pair this with yoga or meditation to connect these grateful words with calm energy. If bedtime is a challenge then maybe find a different time of day to do this. We don’t want the child to associate this activity with a uncomfortable feeling. Perhaps they just struggle with the routine before getting into bed (e.g. changing clothes; brushing teeth) but when they get into bed they are more calm. This maybe be the time to practice GLAD.
G: Grateful Name something that you are grateful for today. This can be something large or something small. Help children find more variety in theri answers by answering first. Examples: sun was shining; I saw a dog today; grateful to have my favorite food at lunch; grateful that I am healthy).
L: Learned Name something you learned that day. This can be something they learned at school, something they learned about themselves, or something they learned about someone else. Example: I learned how to multiply by 4s today; I learned that I can focus better in class when I hold a fidget; I learned that my friend likes when I sit with her while she does her homework.
A: Accomplish Name something that you accomplished today. This can be something grand or something small. Example: I woke up in time to eat my breakfast at the kitchen table; I got an A on my math test; I won an award; I made my bed today.
D: Delight: Name something that brought you joy or made you smile. Example: hearing a bird chirp; seeing a pretty flower; looking at an old photograph; or laughing at a funny moment with a friend.
Repetition rewires the brain. The more you do these activities with your children the more they are telling their brains to look for the “good” in their days.
