Real Talk: Boundaries don’t ruin the holidays; they make room for more meaningful connection.

Holiday Gatherings. These can either be a blast or a whole lot of stress. For many families, they bring up big emotions, old patterns, and well-intended comments that don’t always land the way we hope. Below are some gentle reminders of what to be mindful of over the holidays (and a few things to maybe refrain from saying or doing, even if your intentions are good).

Hugs – Not all children or teens want hugs. Even if you are related, that does not mean we should dismiss someone’s boundaries. We want to teach kids that they have autonomy and can advocate for what they need. Ask for a hug first, and if they look hesitant, offer another, safer option—like a high five or fist bump.

“Wow, you must be hungry” – Try to refrain from judging someone’s food intake, especially during the holidays. We don’t know what someone may be going through, and when we say this it can feel shameful and create an unhealthy relationship with food. The best thing to do in this situation is to model healthy eating behaviors.

Asking Big Life Questions – This is a big one, so I’ll break it down. No one wants to come to a family gathering and feel interrogated about what they are doing with their life. These questions are often asked out of curiosity or care, but they can still feel overwhelming or intrusive.

Topics that fall under this category include:

• “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”
  
  

• “When are you having kids?”
  
  

• “Did you choose a college yet?”
  
  

• “What are you doing with your life?”
  
  

If someone wants to talk about these things, they will bring them up. Instead, try asking:

• “What’s new?”
  
  

• “How is school?”
  
  

• “I heard you’ve been interested in robotics—tell me more about that.”
  
  

Negatively commenting on appearance (even when it’s meant as a joke) – We all know there is often some truth behind jokes. Instead of saying, “What’s with the bangs?” you can either refrain from commenting if you don’t have something kind to say, or try, “I noticed you got a new haircut.” Comments on appearance can uplift someone when they are respectful and caring, and they show our family and friends that we are paying attention.

Remember, no matter someone’s age, everyone’s boundaries deserve to be respected. The holidays are a great opportunity to practice creating spaces that feel emotionally safe, not just festive. And if you’re on the other side of this, remember that you are allowed to set your own boundaries too.

Welcome to Real Talk

Being human is hard! We live in a world where we feel the pressure to have it all together. This space is a gentle reminder that being human is messy, beautiful, overwhelming, and worth talking about. Real Talk is where we take the masks off, slow down, and get honest about what it means to care for our mental health, support our kids, and show up for ourselves.

Here, you’ll find:

• Real-life parenting guidance grounded in child development and play therapy

• Mental health support that’s practical and approachable

• Self-care ideas that actually nourish your body and mind

• Tools for connection (with yourself, your child, and the people you love)

Each week I will be posting a new blog topic anywhere from screen time use to holiday stress relief reminders. My hope is that this blog feels like sitting down with a warm cup of coffee (or tea) and taking a deep breath. Remember that you’re not alone in the hard moments.