Real Talk: Mental Health is Not a Metaphor: How Our Words Shape Mental Health Stigma

In day-to-day language we don’t typically stop and think about phrases we often use. Some phrases have been in our vernacular for decades with little pause to what the phrase may actually mean. Here is a list of phrases that perhaps we should reconsider as they relate to mental health.

“The weather is so bipolar.”

• What you actually mean: The weather is unpredictable, one minute it’s raining then it’s sunny. When using it to describe a person, it’s probably meant to convey someone’s mood swings up and down, happy then sad/mad. 

• What the diagnosis of bi-polar really is: Bipolar Disorder is a mental health disorder. It is characterized by alternating episodes of significantly elevated (mania) and depressed mood. TJust because someone is feeling sad and happy within the same day does not constitute a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. It is not simply being moody or unpredictable.

  “I’m so OCD.”  

• What you actually mean: You probably have particularities about certain things. You might not like germs or like things to be organized. Being overly organized or conscientious of germs is not disordered. 

• What the diagnosis of OCD really is: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder involves both obsessions (recurrent and intrusive thoughts, images, or urges that cause significant anxiety or distress) and compulsions (repetitive behaviors or mental acts that the individual feels driven to perform in response to obsessions or according to rigid rules) that cause significant distress and interfere with daily functioning. 

  “I’m so depressed.” 

• What you actually mean: Most people experience a state of sadness due to a circumstance that is occurring right now. This is a feeling that you can feel from time to time but is not persistent. 

• What clinical depression really is: Clinical depression (Major Depressive Disorder) is a long-lasting and severe condition. It involves persistent feelings of hopelessness, fatigue, and a loss of interest in activities, significantly impacting daily life. Feeling depressed isn't simply feeling sad. 

  “We trauma bonded.”

• What you actually mean: Most people feel a connection to people through discussing a similar situation, such as two people that have both experienced a toxic relationship. Maybe you have made a new friend by relating to their similar traumatic event. 

• What a trauma bond actually means: A trauma bond is when a victim feels a very strong bond or connection to their abuser. There is a pattern of abuse followed by kindness that creates a dependency toward the abuser. 

  “That’s so psycho/crazy.”

• What you actually mean: This is usually used to describe something that is illogical or odd, such as “That’s so crazy that they laid off 15 people.”

• What psychosis really is: Psychosis is a mental health condition that causes a significant loss of touch with reality. It is characterized by a combination of symptoms that can include: delusions, hallucinations, disorganized thinking and speech and change in behavior and affecting daily functioning. 

  “That is triggering.”

• What you actually mean: This phrase is often used casually when someone feels annoyed or reminds them of an unpleasant memory.

• What it actually means: To be "triggered" is to have an intense, overwhelming emotional or physical reaction (panic attack or flashback) in response to a reminder of a past trauma. This is particularly relevant for those with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

  “You’re gaslighting me.”

• What you actually mean: This typically refers to someone who is lying. 

• What it actually means: Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation and emotional abuse where a person intentionally tries to make someone doubt their own sanity or feelings. This usually isn't a one time thing but a pattern over time. Just because someone is lying or being unkind does not necessarily mean they are gaslighting you. 

  “I’m addicted to queso.”

• What you actually mean: You really like something (such as queso cheese). 

• What an addiction really is: Addiction is defined as a chronic, relapsing disorder characterized by compulsive drug seeking, continued use despite harmful consequences. This causes long-lasting changes in the brain. Usually when used in this way, you don’t have a psychological dependency on the cheese but enjoy it so much that the thought of removing it from your diet would be difficult. 

  “She's such a narcissist"

• What you actually mean: This is usually used to describe someone who is self-centered. 

• What Narcissism actually is: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a diagnosable personality disorder. It is marked by a persistent pattern of grandiosity, a profound lack of empathy, and an excessive need for admiration. Just because someone on social media posts alot of selfies does not necessarily mean they have NPD.

  “That was so traumatic.”

• What you actually mean: This is usually used to describe a stressful event.

  What trauma really is: Clinical trauma causes severe psychological impairments that can affect your daily functioning.

  • Big T trauma: These are events you typically think of to be traumatic (e.g. natural disaster; abuse; violent crime; war) These can cause severe and long lasting symptoms and may result in PTSD.

  • Little t Trauma: These are everyday experiences that are significantly distressing that lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges over time (e.g. bullying; loss of loved one; emotional neglect).This is distinct from an event being merely stressful or upsetting.
    

  It may seem silly to change the way we talk about these things but this can have a deep impact on those who actually struggle with real mental health challenges. If we change our daily language we can help break the stigma associated with mental health. Remember you are not perfect. It can take some time to break habits. The first step is awareness.